Patience (n) : the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.
Oh boy. Don't we all need a little more of this...patience.
A few weeks ago, I was rushing to pick up a friend for a much needed mommy date long over due to celebrate mutual birthdays that had long since passed. In my rush, I pulled out of the garage and hit my passenger side rear bumper into my mother-in-law’s car. This was her reward for helping me watch the kids of course... because no good deed goes unpunished. I jest here.
There have been many recent events that I felt conflicted over as far as deciding whether or not to quit. For me, with my athletic history, I have felt that somehow, quitting meant failure. I have struggled with feelings of inadequacy as I admit something isn't working. Like maybe I wasn't committed enough, or available enough or smart enough....the list goes on.
As I have explored more about quitting, I discovered that it may not only be an appropriate action but necessary to achieve success, or more importantly, growth either mentally or physically or financially. Admitting something isn't working and learning how to quit is critical if you want to SOAR in life.
To be clear, you can't win without struggle along the way, but you can't win if your struggle doesn't get you anywhere.
Yet, how do you decide something is worth struggling through or when is it actually best to quit?
Should you wear a seatbelt while driving your car?
The answer seems obvious, right?
First, it’s the law and it’s an expensive fine if you don’t.
Second, you enjoy living, and seat belts save lives.
Honestly, do you know a person who would answer this question by saying seat belts don’t work no matter their education level nor economic status?
Well, here is my argument that you shouldn’t wear a seat belt, use a helmet, use a life jacket, use a parachute nor have health insurance….or at least pretend it’s not available.
I don't write much about Crossfit. Mostly because the eye roll people give me gets a little old after I tell them I don't eat gluten. Sometimes though, I just have to pause and appreciate what my body is able to do. Every single time I go to Crossfit Initiative I get something unexpected.
Not pain....not injury...not tired (well, maybe sometimes)...not stronger....but...I get more comfortable with being uncomfortable.
Why is that good you ask?
It's good because it makes me a better parent. It makes me more comfortable doing the job that makes me the most uncomfortable.
That might not make sense to you, but maybe this explanation will help.
This is a repost from 4/20/2016. I recently just re-listened to Mistakes Were Made(But Not By Me). This book is so fascinating. As I look back at my own family transition and the struggles of current families, this book is entirely relevant. It is not uncommon for parents to have conflict with each other related to making lifestyle changes to how they raise their children. It is easier to stick with comfort than it is to make change, especially when change requires admitting mistakes were made. Although my husband and I are comfortable with our current lifestyle choices, that doesn't mean we didn't have struggle. In fact, I think the act of both of us reading and listening to this book allowed for some pretty dramatic changes in our relationship that continues to support us today in doing difficult work in communicating with each other in a productive manner. I went back to this blog to re-read and see if I feel any differently or have anything to add. The main thing is that this may become a book that I recommend all parents and couples read together as they embark on making lifestyle changes. We are all human and it is important to understand when working towards change and betterment of your self and family. Much of this blog is still pertinent and consistent with where I continue to be in my life personally and professionally, so I really haven't changed much. Cheers to all and I hope this book brings you some guidance in how to proceed in making lifestyle changes even in the face of what appears to be resistance from your partner or children. The more you understand yourself personally the better off everyone is around you.
Let me begin by saying, this isn’t going to be a blog where I give you a resolution to your problem. I am still working it out for myself. It is also a bit longer than normal but I hope you stay awake long enough to read it. I believe this may be my most important blog yet…..
Oh dear...the DIET bashing....AGAIN....
I have something I need to say about diets. Here me out. A diet as defined by the Webster dictionary is "a special or limited selection of food and drink, chosen or prescribed for health or to gain or lose weight."
Many folks, whom may or may not understand the true purpose of a diet, are shaming very useful diet strategies because they are "difficult" to do and then discredit them. Check out the US News report. I think there is a misunderstanding about a diet versus lifestyle. An effective diet is NOT designed to be a lifestyle, but a TOOL to gain health. The "diet" is the tool designed to help you design your life, specifically related to what you put into your mouth, so that it can be a sustainable lifestyle. Many of the easiest and most popular diets are not healthy because they do not give you information about your body. Let me speak (write) clearly....
A diet is a TOOL to gain INFORMATION about yourself so that you can MODIFY your LIFESTYLE to fit your PERSONAL health needs.
DIET = TOOL
TOOL = INFORMATION
INFORMATION => PERSONAL HEALTH
Pain : (noun)
1. Physical discomfort caused by illness or injury
2. Careful effort, great care or trouble
I am on the top of Copper Mountain ski resort above the tree line at 12,000 ft.
It's 1 o C with a wind-chill factor of -6 o C.
I take my gloves off to capture a panoramic view with my phone. In moments, my hand begins to hurt from the cold. The pain is severe.
What would you do in that situation?
If you have followed my blog the past few years and even read my book, you may have wondered what I do. My identity was blurred for a bit as folks tried to encourage me to leave the field of physical therapy and focus on health coaching. Although I understood why they suggested I do that, for ease and money, I simply couldn't do it.
See, even as I have expanded my knowledge base into nutrition, it hasn't changed the fact that in the world of pain, there are many causative factors. Optimizing nutrition alone may or may not reduce someone's pain if there is a mechanical component. Optimizing movement alone may or may not reduce someone's pain if they are in a physiological inflammatory state from lifestyle issues related to nutrition, sleep or stress.
This past week I attended our national combined sections meeting of the APTA. It was like a knowledge, passion, creativity, compassion and innovation explosion. My introverted nature struggled at times with 13,000 physical therapists there, but I now would like to reclaim my title of physical therapist and explain what physical therapy is in case you didn't know.
Anxiety (noun): a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome (wikipedia.org)
I have shared how I lost my anxiety with our lifestyle changes, starting with eating paleo-inspired naturally gluten free. As time has gone on, I realize that the statement isn’t the whole truth. What actually occurred, is I lost the brain fog in order to see what actually caused me anxiety so I could address it. It is no longer endless and meaningless or debilitating as it was before. Anxiety for me now is a signal that something amazing is about to happen. I don’t ignore it. I don’t pretend it doesn’t exist. I jump into it and explore what it is. It isn’t easy, of course and requires a lot of my attention and time. It also forces me to grow personally and often strengthens my foundation with family members and those close to me. I look at anxiety much like stress (as I have described in Soar Into Health), too much is unhealthy, but my life is much brighter with it in my life.
It's finally here….the ONE and only recipe you can’t live without.
I am sharing it here exclusively for YOU.
Now, before you get too excited, I am going to give you a dose of honesty.
It is NOT a recipe for brownies (paleo or not) nor ice cream nor some alternative version of your favorite pasta dish (you would only be disappointed with anyways since you didn’t want to give up gluten in the first place until I suggested you should give it a try). It is NOT a free pass to throw all caution to the wind and just “enjoy” life frivolously eating candy bars and drinking alcohol because you can. Technically, it isn’t really a complete recipe, only partial.
This blog is following appropriately after my discussion about Why Are Mother's a Good Target Market?. This book came timely as a grappled with sharing that blog 4 months after it was written. I worried about offending people. I worried about expectations. I worried about my accountability to myself and others. I wrote this after reading a book which helped me understand why.
Have you ever tried to start a healthy habit but struggled? Do you make New Year's Resolution only to fail? I certainly have in the past. The reasons for my failure however are likely different than yours.
I recently took a quiz to determine my personal tendency. This quiz was designed by New York Times Bestselling author Gretchen Rubin. No, this isn't some validated personality measure as per a randomized controlled double blind study. Yet, if you read her book Better Than Before, you realize that it is based on published research, personal experience, interviews and well..... a lot of thoughtful analysis.
This book was a Lightning Bolt for me. Gretchen describes the Lightning Bolt as something that transforms habits by the power of knowldege, beliefs, and ideas. It is something that happens to us, you aren't able to plan it on purpose. Yet, when they happen, habit changes often occur spontaneously.
Warning: This blog has profaninty. I have held onto this blog for some time...clearly since summer at least. Why share now? I am not sure exactly, but the new year seems as good a time as any especially as many make resolutions. I also would like to be clear that I do believe many things have value in this world including those things that are marketed to women and especially mothers. My primary issue is that if we don't do any personal exploration to fully understand ourselves and our tendencies then we end up booby trapping ourselves. And who has time for that while raising a family????
Mothers, it’s time to stop.
The only reason I am targeting you, another mother, is because I am one.
This past weekend, I was at the beach with some family. A family member asked, “You look great. Do you CrossFit all the time?”
“Does working out 2-3 times a week count as ‘all the time’?” I asked.
Although I love this quote from Micael Pollan, I have struggled with this image with the croissant because of my relationship with gluten. Yet, somehow it seemed an appropriate image for this blog on cheat meals.
I have written before about how trying to be perfect is both an illusion and unrealistic. Yet, sometimes I have clients or patients say things like, “I can’t be perfect like you.” Or “We are almost perfect paleo like you.”
It always strikes me as interesting because although my life is “perfectly imperfect” I certainly don’t strive for perfection in any aspects of my life. In fact, I actually practice allowing for imperfection in my life. You know…like letting the kids do their version of fold the laundry or cleaning up and being ok with whatever they actually do and assist only when necessary.
Traditional: (adj) existing in or as part of a tradition; long established. Produced, done or used in accordance with tradition; Habitually done, used or found (Wikipedia)
The Holiday Season is upon us. Thanksgiving and Christmas are just around the corner. It can be challenging for you if you are just starting a new healthy lifestyle that might conflict with what is served for a family gathering.
The other day a colleague of mine said that what I ask patient’s to do from a nutrition standpoint is anti-traditional foods. The main culprit here is of course gluten related food items. One that specifically comes to mind is a traditional Italian dish of pasta. However, it could be related to legumes, or grains or dairy depending on your ethnic heritage.
This is a topic near and dear to my heart. I have been hesitant to share this condition because it honestly scared me to death when I first learned about it. In time, not only have I healed, but the more I understand the condition the more empowered I become to prevent it from coming back.
This is a lengthy research report, so bear with me as the details are important. I will describe the condition leaky gut (or increased intestinal permeability), how it is linked to your immune system, why it matters, causes and solutions.
***You have been warned***
Leaky gut is more specifically described as increased intestinal permeability. It is a descriptive term related to the small intestines having a reduced barrier function. This condition is not a diagnosis alone, but has been linked to many illness and symptomology.
Consider this blog a “book report” of sorts. As I have continued my learning journey in all things health and wellness, including nutrition, I have become more aware of the struggles of fellow parents in raising healthy children.
I recently participated in a webinar given by Dina Rose, PhD. Dr. Rose’s experience as a sociologist, parent educator and feeding expert was enlightening for me as someone trying to help coach patients and other parents to make lifestyle changes.
I want to bring together a synopsis of her book, It’s not About the Broccoli, to help other parents help transition their family to eating healthy foods. It’s an important step. You may not think you or your children are sick, but if you stop for a moment to look at the food you eat, you inherently know it isn’t the best. If it isn’t the best, then what does that make it? Is it promoting health?
Let me start off by clearly answering the question…..YES, if not necessary to have health.
The resistance to homework seems to be at the forefront for those of us in public school systems. Facebook posts are floating around about the parental struggles with their children getting homework done.
I am a mother of 3 kids. All of which have homework every night. I am also a student that has regular homework assignments. Although I hate testing for many reasons from a developmental and confidence issue, as a clinician I say, “How do you evaluate change if you don’t measure something?” I do not “practice” the test with my patients, but I do give them homework that is designed to improve the outcome of the test. In physical therapy we use functional outcomes.
In our family’s past, we initially tried Montessori school. From a rehabilitation standpoint, I loved the tactile learning, the free flow thinking and the practical activity learning (clean up, make food, tie your shoes etc). I also loved the “no homework” rule.
Let’s start by asking, “Do you believe in God?”
We could be discussing God or higher power or nature or heaven or hell or the solar system or health. A few years ago, my family and I went to church on a Sunday. No, we don’t go every Sunday. Yes, we do actually believe in God. But that isn’t the point. On this fated Sunday, the pastor discussed the question about “Do you believe in God?”
Of course, we were in church, so the answer was, “Yes.”
“How do you know God exists?” he asked.
A few months ago, I wrote a blog related to cognitive dissonance and human nature. It was primarily focused on the reasons why the paleo diet is bad for you and why you won’t try it. Read more here.
At the conclusion of the blog I wrote, “We are all human; fallible yet capable of change.” This is important. Why? Because being human means, if not requires, that you make mistakes, even despite efforts to do your best.
I recently read an article in an Integrative Medicine journal written by an Emergency Physician. He cited an article published in the British Medical Journal.
Let me describe the dark side and bright side for a moment. The bright side is where all the people are. Everyone appears to be smiling and belonging here, at least on the outside. Then the dark side is behind the curtain. The bright side doesn’t look behind the curtain, because it is well…..dark and unknown. It is scary. And so it remains dark, forgotten, and unexplored. But why?
Our family left the bright side of popularity over to the dark side (whole foods naturally gluten free paleo inspired) about 3 years ago in order to find our family’s health. And it turns out, the dark side is actually where the light shines the brightest. This is where true health and wellness lives inside and out. It is only behind the curtain and dark, because the bright side pulled the curtain closed.
Sloths are mammals characterized by moving only when necessary. Even when they move, they move slowly. They generally live their life hanging about in trees. They eat, sleep (an average 10 hrs/day) and birth their children simply “hanging around.” They also only go to the ground to urinate or defecate about once a week. (Wikipedia.org).
Recent popularity of the sloth can be credited to Dash from the movie Zootopia. His slow delivery of jokes makes him even funnier. You already know that I only watch animated movies because…you know…the small kids and all. Watch Dash trailer here, he is actually funny.
So what do we have to learn from sloths? How is it that learning to do more of seemingly “nothing” or just “hanging around” be healthy?
Here are a few definitions to start…because re-learning some vocabulary is always healthy, right?
fear (noun) – an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain or a threat
fearlessness (adjective) – without fear; bold or brave
courage (noun) – mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty.
calmness (noun) – freedom from motion or disturbance; stillness. Freedom from agitation, excitement, or passion; tranquility; serenity
curiosity (noun) – a strong desire to know or learn something; a strange or unusual object or fact
Originally, this blog was going to be a strong rebuttal to the Washington Post article titled “Meat is Horrible” with The Savory Institute’s data that cattle are actually helping to reverse climate change. Watch Alan Savory’s TED talk, it's definitely worth your time.
I resent things that make me fearful of living, like eating meat or climate change. I prefer awareness and make specific positive life choices, because I know it matters.
Instead, I am going to share a story and lesson learned on a recent family trip.
Sometimes you get caught. It’s mid afternoon, and you haven’t had lunch and there isn’t time to make dinner before soccer games. The only thing to do is go through the drive thru…..How do you get in/out without throwing yourself so far into gluttony that you can’t get out for weeks???
Here are a few tips to optimize your experience until you can better plan for next time.
I did a little experiment. I often ask clients/patients to track their food or pain to gain further understanding of the problem. I find it extremely informative for me but also for the client/patient. Suddenly, something that didn’t make any sense, all of sudden has a pattern to it.
So, I took my own advice in order to better understand how to help others. I decided to keep track of how much time I spend in the kitchen preparing or cleaning up whole food naturally gluten free meals for my family of 5. I was surprised at the results.
Dr Carolyn Dolan DPT, Cert MDT, MSHN
Where physical therapy, nutrition and lifestyle meet, because how you live your life determines whether or not you soar. Inspiring action with information so you can reduce pain, optimize healing and improve function naturally during recovery from injury, surgery or painful condition. This is a website for the open-minded; obstinate need not apply.