I have heard through the grapevine that is has been said about me:
“Carolyn is not lazy.”
Well, I want you all to know, that actually….I am lazy.
Lazy (adj): 1. Not eager or willing to work or exert oneself; indolent; slothful. 2. Slow and heavy; sluggish 3. Tending to cause laziness.
Yes. That sounds like me.
Here are my top 20 reasons why I am lazy. Can’t believe how easy it was to identify 20 reasons why I am lazy. It’s a little sad actually.
1. I love to sleep.
Not only is it healthy for me as my body recovers from all the damage I did to it the day before but it means I am not doing anything. Lazy. Yes, I love sleeping. And I hate getting up early because it means I have to start doing things like cooking, cleaning, making lunches, laundry, bills, and even driving kids to school. I do it every once in a while, like when my hubby tries to be romantic to see a sunrise at the top of a mountain peak, but really I would rather be in bed. Thank goodness he tolerates me grumpy until the sun comes up.
2. I don’t shower every day.
True. See number 1. But I would if I didn’t have to lose sleep for it. Neither do my children. Makes me tired thinking about it. On vacation without kids though I shower for an hour, daily….which is lazy.
3. I hate soccer games, practice and baseball and basketball.
Well, not really because the kids love it. For me though, it means I have to drive somewhere and pack food and make sure all three kids have all their equipment. And I have to pay attention once I am there too. It’s a struggle because I am lazy.
4. Cooking is a chore.
Since going paleo inspired I both love good food and hate it. It’s a fine line. I’d rather read a good book on the couch. And I am working on simplifying my cooking process because fancy food requires too much effort. Oh, and don’t get me started on dishes….the only reason the sink is clean is because I put the dishes in the dishwasher, because I don’t want to wash and put them away right now, I just made dinner…. and I need a break. I am lazy remember?
5. I hate my kid’s homework.
Why?....because I have to work so hard to not yell at them because they don’t understand what I am trying to say. Or I get frustrated because I don’t know what to do. Wow….it requires a lot of effort. And I don’t want to scar the young children, really I don’t, but I probably do because I yell sometimes….because….I am lazy. Poor kids. I am sorry for my laziness.
6. My kids have an early bedtime.
Yes, sleep is important and their little brains need the rest. They are growing so fast. But really, it’s because I want to stop working. I want a break. I don’t know when the husband will be home, but it doesn’t matter. They still want me even when there are reinforcements available. It’s lovely, I will miss it I am sure, but right now, I am lazy and need to rest.
7. Laundry is my nemesis.
There is just sooooo much of it….always. The husband helps when he can, and it’s great, but I still have to put it away. I even try to get the kids involved to do it all for me, and mostly they help…but they still need me to direct them. The five year old just hasn’t figured it all out yet. Either way it’s still work. And I would rather be reading a book on the couch. Maybe I should try to make the kids re-wear things and put them away, but it’s so easy to throw clothes in the laundry basket instead. See number 8.
8. I don’t like cleaning up.
For sure, I wasn’t the one who made the mess, so not only am I lazy, but it isn’t fair. I put my stuff away so I know where my stuff is, because it is too much effort when things get lost. You know how hard it is when you can’t find your keys to drive the car and you are trying to get to school on time??? But really, it’s easier to throw the stuff on the floor into the garbage because it isn’t my stuff and I don’t want to look around to find out where it goes and whom it belongs to and this is the lazy way to get a clean house.
9. My kids eat leftovers for lunch.
Yes, in part because I like to feed them healthy food and I know it is important. Really though it’s because we make lunch right after dinner, and dinner is already out. No need to do extra work by getting other food out of the refrigerator unless it is necessary because it just means more to put away and clean up.
10. I shop at Wholefoods.
It’s lazy, and I am working on it because I realize it is too expensive. But I know where everything is and they have the items I use. One stop shopping is lazy. But I am working on this one, because the laziness is costing me too much money.
11. I shop for clothes online.
I don’t like changing my clothes multiple times to see if it fits. I’d rather run around my home naked trying things on until I see if it fits so I don’t have to re-dress every time I try something new on, like in the store. They arrest you for stuff like this in public.
12. I skip meals sometimes.
I call it intermittent fasting, but really if I look closely, I get to skip a meal!!! I don’t have to prep anything. I would probably do it more often if I didn’t feed my kids all the time, but really if I am honest, more laziness than anything else.
13. I use my credit card all the time.
This is normal I suppose. But in efforts to be frugal or money conscious it would be better to use cash. Except, that would mean an extra trip to the bank. And if I do go, I go through the drive-thru ATM. I should go inside because that would be safer to save myself from identity theft, but I don’t.
14. I donate instead of selling.
I would love to say that I donate items to raise money for a cause or something altruistic like that, but it’s probably because the donation center is on the way to school. And to try to sell it online or otherwise would be too much work and time on the computer and meeting people in person…a lazy introvert problem.
15. I live in work out clothes.
See number 2 and 11.
16. I only workout officially twice a week.
See number 1, 2, 4, 7.
17. I hang dry the nice clothes.
We rarely dry clean because it means driving to another place and getting OUT of the car. Oh lord. AND I use the credit card…again. The drive thru cleaners is now too far from home.
18. I have nominal aphasia.
That is fancy talk for trouble recalling names. I hope it’s just my brain cleaning up, but it probably means I am lazy. Its sooooo HARD for my brain though and I didn’t know why until I started this list. I will remember other details, but your name will escape me. Sorry, I don't mean to be rude, but maybe my laziness is a problem.
19. I pay someone to pull the weeds.
Yes I do. I did it plenty growing up as a child and I plan to have my children do it for me….soon. When I can figure out how to bribe them.
20. I love chocolate.
I do. But maybe because I have it for whenever I get hungry and am too lazy to make myself a meal. Not a good plan, but I do it…only sometimes though, I promise.
So, what do I do about my laziness? It isn’t because I don’t have energy, I do.
Maybe I need to look at it differently.
Maybe it’s not that I am “lazy”, but maybe efficient is a better description. Because actually I am trying to make life easier, not more complicated. Efficiency.
Aren’t we all?
Cheers to laziness!
Now, I am going to bed early for some much needed shut eye. I had to work too hard today.
Remove. Replace. Restore.
Replace with a new perspective. Efficiency.
Restore…..ummmm….a clean house?
Eat well. Move well. Sleep well. Thrive on.
Dr Carolyn Dolan DPT, Cert MDT, MSHN
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